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The Latest Episode of Let's Take Care: One Father’s Story of Autism, Adoption and Acceptance

A new episode of the parenting podcast Let’s Take Care is shining a light on the realities of raising neurodivergent children, with a candid and thoughtful conversation between hosts Jane Holmes and Melissa Paulden and their guest, Steve Newton, a father of two adopted teenagers and himself on the autistic spectrum.


The episode explores the complex intersection of adoption, trauma and neurodivergence, offering listeners both practical strategies and a deeply personal account of family life shaped by additional needs.


Adoption, trauma and late diagnosis

Steve describes how he and his wife adopted two siblings nearly a decade ago, both of whom came from traumatic early backgrounds. Initially, many of their children’s behaviours were attributed to trauma — something he notes can closely resemble conditions such as autism and ADHD.


However, as time passed, Steve began to recognise patterns that suggested something more. Seeking clarity for his daughter led him to pursue his own assessment — a decision that resulted in his autism diagnosis in adulthood.


Rather than being limiting, he describes the diagnosis as “freeing,” giving both him and his daughter “permission to be different” and helping the family better understand themselves.

The conversation challenges lingering stigma around diagnosis, with Newton arguing it should be seen not as a label but as “a key to open up life,” enabling families to access support and adapt more effectively.


Parenting strategies in a neurodivergent household

One of the standout discussions centres on practical coping mechanisms. Steve shares a simple but effective “tag system” he and his wife use during moments of stress - signalling when one parent needs immediate relief so the other can step in.

This approach, he says, has helped prevent burnout and reduced the emotional impact on their children by ensuring they are not exposed to prolonged parental stress.

The episode also highlights the evolving challenges of parenting teenagers with additional needs. While Steve notes increased independence compared to earlier years, he emphasises that difficulties do not disappear - they simply change form.


Communication, identity and relationships

The hosts explore how communication plays a central role in maintaining family stability. Steve reflects on how his diagnosis has improved not only his self-understanding but also his relationships, allowing him to set boundaries (particularly around socialising) without guilt.

He also speaks candidly about the strain caregiving can place on relationships. Time as a couple, he admits, has been extremely limited, illustrating a common reality for parents of children with complex needs.


The importance of community — especially for fathers

A key theme is the isolation often experienced by fathers. Steve stresses the importance of father-specific support networks, where men can speak openly about their experiences without feeling overshadowed.

He encourages more dads to engage with support groups and community sessions, noting that simply realising “you’re not the only one” can be transformative.


Self-care and managing a “noisy mind”

Steve offers insight into living with what he describes as a constantly active mind, a common experience for many neurodivergent people. His primary form of self-care is riding his motorbike, which he says provides rare mental quiet and focus.

He also highlights the value of talking openly as a form of self-care, reinforcing the podcast’s wider message: caregivers must look after themselves in order to support others effectively.


A broader message for families

Throughout the episode, a consistent message emerges: acceptance and adaptation are more productive than resistance.


Steve advises parents facing a new diagnosis to embrace it as a tool for understanding, rather than something to fear.

The discussion resonates beyond neurodivergence, touching on universal themes of resilience, identity and the evolving nature of family life.

With its mix of lived experience and practical advice, this episode of Let’s Take Care offers an honest and reassuring perspective for parents navigating similar journeys and a reminder that support, understanding and community can make all the difference.



 
 
 

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