Who Cares? a bftf blog entry

It’s 3:17am. While most of the world sleeps, so does no one in this house. A mother sits awake—again—watching over her daughter with complex learning disabilities who, for reasons doctors still don’t fully understand, does not sleep through the night. She hasn’t for years.

This mum will be up in a few hours to get ready for work. Not because she wants to, but because she has to. The household bills don’t wait, and neither does the rent. Years ago, she stepped away from a promising career—too many missed meetings, emergency hospital runs, and sleepless nights had made it unsustainable. She took an admin job instead. Something ‘manageable’. Something with less pressure. Something she could hold down while managing everything else.

But even that’s a stretch. She spends every bit of energy not just caring, but training others to care when she’s at work. Most can’t cope. Staff turnover is high. Replacements are scarce. She starts again, again and again. There’s no time left to study or grow herself—no time to upskill, retrain, or even think.

This is the reality for thousands of unpaid carers across the UK, the majority of them women. They aren’t choosing between work and care—they’re being forced to compromise on both. Careers stall. Pensions shrink. Workplace promotions disappear. Exhaustion takes over. Meanwhile, the care system creaks, and carers fall through the gaps.

This Carers’ Week, we’re talking about equality—but for carers like this mum, equality is still out of reach. Equality means being able to work without being punished for needing flexibility. It means not having to choose between financial stability and your child’s basic needs. It means recognising unpaid care as real work—skilled, relentless, and essential.

So, who cares? Carers do. They care at 3am, at school drop-off, in meetings they can’t attend, and in jobs they’re just barely holding onto. And until society steps up to care for them, we’re failing not just individuals, but whole families.

This Carers’ Week, let’s stop asking them to do more. Let’s ask what we can do for them—to give them back time, dignity, and the opportunity to thrive, not just survive.

https://www.carersweek.org/